| Nenyaki. "Write Til You Drop!". 4/9/08 via Flickr. CC A-ND 2.0. |
In this article, Julie Hall separates the segments of her text clearly to demonstrate that there are different ways for women to make advances in what is viewed as a 'man's' field, and in each section she appeals to our emotions and logic from a new angle.
Thesis 2:
Julie Hall, in her article Women Entrepreneurs 2.0, works with our emotions and our logic to help make her case about the ways that women entrepreneurs can begin making strides in the startup industry and the reasons why that will be good for everyone.
Sometimes it's hard for me to develop a thesis until the end of my writing, but writing it first has helped me to really consider the direction in which I want to take this piece. And from here I can really start crafting my project around these ideas so that it's all tailored to fit together coherently and fluently. One of the challenges for me is that I've never written specifically about rhetorical analysis, and I'm still not sure what type of thesis would be good for an assignment about explaining rhetorical analysis.
These theses are both pretty good. I like the first one because the grmmar is clear and not as wordy as the second. With that being said, the second one is strong because it lays out what you are going to be doing with your paper. I think if you could synthesize the two of these into one concise thesis, it would be very strong.
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